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wBillieupool |
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Hi.
My name is Kate.
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wFriday, February 28, 2003 |
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How to Have the Best Day Ever:
1. Sleep right on through Shakespeare at 11:30. Sleep until 12:00.
2. Go with a friend to a local flower shop. Buy the cutest gift basket ever and have it delivered the next day to another friend in honor of her 21st.
3. Go to life drawing. Draw the most kickingest ass drawings ever.
4. Get called the Conte Queen by your teacher.
5. Have a "moment" with the model afterward when you wash your hands free from all that conte and he offers up the sweatshirt he's wearing for you to dry your hands on.
6. Accidentally meet up with a friend after life drawing. Go to Buffalo’s with him and two other guys.
7. Eat wings and dream about how, three months from now, you can order all the beer your wistful little heart longs for.
8. Go to a strange house filled with people you used to sorta hang out with but not really.
9. Drink a lot of whiskey and coke.
10. Almost get beat up by a jealous girlfriend and a very big lesbian.
11. Scuffle with a few people, get dry humped by a few more.
12. Go with a bunch of guys to try to tow your friend's Landrover out of a mud pit.
13. Watch them strip down to their underwear and get all muddy.
14. Get seriously, seriously muddy yourself.
15. Come back home. Wash your clothes and your tennies. Think about your kick ass drawings. Feel pretty damn happy.
posted by
Kate at 2:15 AM
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wSaturday, February 22, 2003 |
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There are some things I want so badly that I stay as far away from them as I possibly and realistically can. There are some longings so keen that merely acting upon them might damage the fine weavings of their perfect fantasies, and I won't do it. I won't.
What the fuck is wrong with me?
posted by
Kate at 2:19 AM
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wThursday, February 20, 2003 |
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It's so sad how sometimes I just want so desperately to be so different from who I am and who I can't help but be. I mean, why isn't my life noisier and more boisterous? Why don't I have more friends and why don't I hang out in bars? Why in the world don't I wear funky eyeglasses? Why am I not just a tad more nerdy, like fashionably nerdy? Why do computers give me the heebie-jeebies? Why haven't I made out with more people?
And well, see, it's just that...I don't know why. I don't know why at all. Maybe my life does imitate something wonderful sometimes, like how I was eating alone by the window in the dining hall this evening when Alan totally long jumped the bushes outside just to wave and grin at me. And like how I do have wonderfully zany friends who do things with me like streak around the arboretum at night and get toasted on wine under a tree in the golf course at 2:00 in the morning. But mostly, I get so unsatisfied with my life sometimes because it's mine and it doesn't always work right. Sometimes there are technical errors. Every now and then it just plain crashes.
And that's okay, I think. Because I've still got time.
posted by
Kate at 12:08 AM
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wSaturday, February 15, 2003 |
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Things I Did on Valentine's Day:
1. Wore a giant sparkly heart ring and gave out pink and red stickers
2. Met someone I've always wanted to meet
3. Made up with a best friend
4. Played ping pong with new friend and best old friend in another friend's tiny living room
5. Made a red beaded necklace
6. Put on lots of makeup
7. Went to a gallery opening of entirely black and white art in Ozark
8. Made friends with four old ladies who shooed us home with two platefuls of homeade love cookies
9. Ate at the worst Mexican restaurant ever
10. Adopted a red balloon
11. Drove around Troy for two hours scoping out a possible keg party
12. Speculated on the amount of shagging taking place
13. Discovered no such keg party, but
14. Discovered my current crush's (one of them, at least) tiny house
15. Drove by it twice more
16. Thought about breaking into one of the two bottles of Blackberry Merlot stashed between my old textbooks and the bowler hat I wore on Halloween. Instead, I
16. Came home, washed my face, cleaned my just pierced ears, and went to bed
posted by
Kate at 12:29 AM
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wWednesday, February 12, 2003 |
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There are times, so poignant I almost cringe, when I feel so good and right and like I have no business being any other place or with any other people. What do I do with such wonderful contentment?
Like the goddamn sky on fire yesterday evening just after sunset or how I'm going camping at the beach the first and second weekends of march with two different groups of people who equally want me there or the Sigma Tau Delta reading coming soon with wines and cheeses and other good things and good people or how the free movie on campus tomorrow is My Big Fat Greek Wedding or the ridiculously campy movie I watched with the Art Guild tonight just after I gracefully bowed out of a dinner at Los Parotos.
And, damn, life is so good.
posted by
Kate at 12:15 AM
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wTuesday, February 11, 2003 |
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So you know what's not fair? Boys with incredibly bright eyes, that's what. It's totally too distracting, especially paired with a great smile. I mean, really people, who can resist a guy with big bright screaming blue eyes and a grin that says look at me I'm totally adorable in this I know but try to pretend I don't know kind of way. I'm a fool because I've never been able to resist that kind of boy, ever.
Let's get serious.
I get sidelined by the opposite sex quite a bit. I'm a sucker, and I know it. But I can't quit being all knobbly-kneed when someone who puts the mo in my jo pays attention to me. Sometimes I don't even really need all that much attention, just a little acknowledgement like, I dunno, a smile and two big bright eyes flashing at me every now and then. It's not fair.
So forgive me when, on occasion, I do break out the games, and try to retaliate with my own rustic feminine wiles. I mean, I got blue eyes too.
I even have a mean pair of dimples.
posted by
Kate at 12:51 AM
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wThursday, February 06, 2003 |
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I used to be hyper aware of my more obvious girly characteristics, like how I giggle too much and how small animals melt me into a goggly-eyed gushing two year old. I used to try to hide said characteristics. I used to try to be more composed and stoic and reserved.
But you know what? I don't fucking care anymore. So...
wittle cute puppies and kitties are so cute! awwwwwww I wuv them, those cute wittle fuzzy kitties and puppies...SMOOCH!
posted by
Kate at 12:43 AM
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wWednesday, February 05, 2003 |
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Things that make me cry:
math
severe frustration
severe exhaustion
those talks with the parents
the first 15 minutes of Girl Interupted
anything, anything that touts triumph over adversity - this includes commercials
the boy who broke my heart in 9th grade
talks with god
posted by
Kate at 8:45 PM
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wSunday, February 02, 2003 |
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I think it could have been when Bonnie and Jaime rolled down the hill at Dr. Stewart’s like two prepubescent hyperactive 10 year olds or maybe it was the Tom Petty and the windows rolled down in Steve's dusty corsica and the rolling back roads of Troy and the sunshine so potent it felt damn near spring. Whatever moment or time or feeling or place, I thought I might never be so content.
And thank god for it because life is so much sometimes I might explode.
posted by
Kate at 5:23 PM
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